Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?” ~ Jane Nelsen
Children do not like it when they are humiliated. Children do not like it when you disrespect them. Children do not cooperate with an authority figure that is demeaning, cruel, and without love.
Yet, at the same time, children are known for their cute and not-so-cute “notoriety”. They can be full of mischief and fun but can take things to a different level if they are not shown the boundaries of good behaviour.
Little Scholars, a playschool in Kolkata, explores how to discipline children in a way that encourages them to behave better.
When you discipline your kids, make sure you do not scream, shout, or act in a way that disturbs them mentally. This means no whacking, no hysterical crying, or acting like your children are incapable of making a mistake.
Instead, maintain eye contact with your child, explain what they have done wrong and why you think it isn’t right. Remember that if you stay calm and do not react to your little one’s tantrums, they will know who is in charge of the situation.
If you have decided that your child deserves a punishment, follow up on it. If you do not, it reflects a weak parenting style. Children need to know that there are certain consequences to their bad behaviour. Unpunished bad behaviour will lead to the child believing they can get away with anything.
Playschools in Kolkata do dole out punishment, but few teach conflict resolution. Conflict occurs between the child and the authority figure when both want different things. Often, the child isn’t wrong, just different. In these cases, the authority figure must try and resolve the conflict. Respect differences, but also explain that in society one needs to work together to achieve common goals. This way the child will understand why you want them to obey you.
If you treat your child with respect, they may, at some later day, return that attitude to you. Manipulation, tricks, begging, and pleading, are not the right ways to parent a child. Several playschools in Kolkata use these tactics. However, the right way is to be patient, speak with authority, and stay calm. Let your child know who is in charge. Give them respect to get the respect you want from the situation.
Parents need to stop making the same mistakes as their parents did. If you want a cooperative child, learn to engage with them. Children often behave better when there is a bond with the authority figure. Hence, this playschool in Kolkata, focuses on creating that bond so that children have a safe place to go to when they want to resolve conflict.
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